It's horrible feeling like this and it really knocks my confidence. I know I preach about loving yourself and I believe every word of it, but it's not always easy to see the best in yourself all the time and Thursday, for me, is one of those days.
I shouldn't be feeling fed up with myself. I've started exercising this week for the first time in 4 months. Only 15 minutes each morning on my step machine but it's 100% better than where I was 10 days ago and I'm really pleased with myself.
The problem is I'm the type of person who needs instant gratification. If I buy something new I'll go home and put it on straight away; I've even been known to go into the ladies and change my outfit! I really do love clothes. So whilst my 15 minutes might be very, very slowly increasing my cardiac health it's no where near to helping me tone up. Yes, I know this will come in time but I want it to work now, this minute, so when I go upstairs to change, I'll get my sexy back!
Instead I focused on the fact that I was lucky to be seeing my beautiful friend Lilly and her family. Her brother and family were here on holiday and I was looking forward to meeting them. For me the weekend is about spending two days with my lovely hubby and also catching up with friends. We generally keep two evenings for us and one for friends. I'm pretty sure my friends won't judge me for putting on a bit of weight; they love me for who I am and understand what my body has been through. I'm the one with the problem.
For all I don't go out to work, I do think that running my home is a full time job, therefore I look forward to the weekend as much as when I was working. I make an effort to not stick to my weekly routine of chores and paperwork. I like to spend the time with my Dicky B.
But back to my wardrobe trauma...for once, I really had no idea what to wear, so I thought it was going to be one of those evenings where I tried everything on. I'd spent the day mentally going through what I'd like to wear but I knew it would fully depend upon how I felt once I saw myself in each outfit.
So upstairs I went with my lovely hubby telling me that I had less than hour before the taxi came... Oops! As I thought, a lot of my clothes felt a tad too snug. I'm sure they looked ok, I haven't morphed into a whale overnight, but when clothes don't fit properly it's a horrible feeling. Luckily I had a new pair of black coated skinnies which I knew would fit. It's always worth having a go-to pair of black skinnies! Worn with a black halter tunic and suede wedges I was good to go. Again, an all black outfit which I'm known for, but to be honest you can't go wrong as it's a classic colour. It dresses up or down depending upon your occasion. Change your shoes and accessories, and you can go from day to night.
We met at a steak house on The Palm and had a great evening. As I suspected Lilly's bother was great company, as was his wife. How could they be anything other when Lilly herself is wonderful, as are her parents. Good food and great company. My favourite thing. I felt ok in my black ensemble. Maybe I hide behind black? I don't know really; I still wear a lot of black even when I'm happy with my size. I don't really like to stand out from the crowd too much and I feel black helps you blend in, although I have read that you're more likely to be noticed in black as apparently it takes more confidence to wear such a simple colour as you're not hiding behind bright patterns or fabrics; that it bares the actual person to the world. Who knows?! For me it's my 'hide my flaws' colour!
So, from a wardrobe issue to a great night out with my dear friend. And luckily for my hubby it was only one wardrobe change and I was downstairs before the taxi came!!