"A man named Valentinus was martyred on February 14 late in the third century A.D.—this much we know. But when it comes to details about the life of St. Valentine, legend often supersedes fact. As you celebrate this Valentine’s Day, find out the truth about the man for whom the day is named, as well as some other intriguing facts about history's most romantic holiday.
1. The St. Valentine who inspired the holiday may have been two different men.
2. In all, there are about a dozen St. Valentines, plus a pope.
3. Valentine is the patron saint of beekeepers and epilepsy, among many other things.
4. You can find Valentine’s skull in Rome.
5. Chaucer may have invented Valentine’s Day.
6. You can celebrate Valentine’s Day several times a year."
February 14th is a bit like marmite; I'm sure most people fall into the two camps. You either love it or hate it. Although I'm sure there are those who are completely indifferent to it. The thing about Valentine's Day is that it can have that feeling of manic gaiety that New Year's Eve brings only this time it is all about the lurve thang.
When DickyB and I were first together I decided that I should take the surprise of Valentine's into my own hands and organise the evening. Why does it always have to be the man? Surely in this day and age, when women bleat on about equality, it's only fair that we too make the effort and treat our partners to some love. Anyway, I digress... That year I thought I would book us into one of our favourite restaurants. I have to admit to it being a set menu but accepted the fact that it was a busy night for them; what I didn't accept was the fact that when we turned up this intimate restaurant had crammed in twice the amount of tables and even overflowed into the hotel lobby. Gone was the beautiful, intimate setting I was expecting, with calm, friendly staff; instead we were greeted by staff running around like crazy people, a token red rose for the lady, rolled up menu tied with fraying red ribbon and only about 5 inches between each table, neatly lined up in rows. The food was served up in military fashion allowing no time between courses to actually sit and talk. Not allowing for the fact that the tables were so close that very few couples actually spoke to each other due to the lack of privacy. In fact, it was very tempting to join in with others!! A very expensive disappointment to say the least. I was gutted, all I had wanted to do was treat my lovely DickyB as he always treats me.
So lesson learnt, from that year on we decided that we would celebrate in the privacy of our own home. We don't take it in turns as such, but we have both hosted meals for each other. DickyB has been known to rustle up a romantic evening with roses and balloons, heart shaped food and good wine (with the help of Bex!) Cheesy ballads on in the background and cats singeing their tails on candles. All in the name of love.
I love Valentine's, any excuse to tell the people close to me that I love them. Both Ben and Bex used to get a card from me and heart shaped chocolates. Nothing wrong with that. But what about the people who are alone? For some it must be quite an ordeal. You can't presume that because someone is alone that it's their choice; divorce, death, work, illness, to name a few reasons why they might not be celebrating Valentine's Day. And then some people are more than happy not to be in a relationship, in fact they have chosen to be single. But all around you, every shop, every advert and poster is forcing you to celebrate February 14th; how frustrating must that be?! Without even trying social media can make you feel like an unloved leper, that somehow it's your own fault and you are unlovable. This is the side I dislike in the same way that I dislike New Year's Eve. My ex used to buy me roses a few days before Valentines and present them to me saying 'here's a bunch of weeds for you!' Romance at its best!! Let's be honest though, he thoroughly disliked paying three times the price for a bunch of roses and felt that he would rather treat me and take me out on his terms, not when society dictated it. I totally understood that but as I woman, I wanted the obvious show of love on Valentine's Day. Maybe this need to show people I was loveable on this particular day came from the fact that there was never an unsigned card for me in the classroom postbox, that no one bought me a single rose and left it on my desk. A reminder that an awkward, plain teenager wasn't attractive nor ever likely to be. A reminder that I was never part of the 'in' crowd.
So just remember, there isn't just one day to tell someone you love them. Do it everyday, more than once. Tell them you love them when you wake up. Tell them you love them before you go to sleep. End every text or phone call with an 'I love you'. We all deserve to know that we are loved. It isn't about the hearts and flowers you receive on February 14th, it's about the hearts and flowers you receive throughout your life, whether they come in the form of a '🌹' or an 'I❤️U' or just a sleepy smile from a small child.
And if you don't hear it from anyone else on February 14th...
I ❤️ U